Unfair

The world around Yukimura Seiichi was collapsing as his body slowly started to give up. He was numb and paralyzed by fear of what was happening around him. As he lay on the cold station platform, all he could think about was the fact that his career was over. Rikkai's third consecutive championship was now at risk because he had fallen ill. He was now the team's burden, which was the last thing he wanted as their captain. The diagnosis given to him was grim, as there were no known treatments or cures for his condition. All he could hope for was that he miraculously got better or patiently wait for something new to come along.

The months he stayed in the hospital were times he wished he could forget entirely. Through all of the testing and physical therapy, Yukimura was constantly swallowed in darkness. He dreaded waking in the morning, knowing that there would always be someone there waiting for him. He hated feeling helpless, but he especially hated losing his own autonomy. Every decision made about him had to go through his parents. Any time he wanted to do something outside of his set schedule required permission from his attending doctors. It was suffocating for someone so used to commanding others what to do. No matter how hard he tried to forget, he could never. His heart ached every time he tried to.

It all started one gloomy autumn afternoon. He was confined to his bed on account of his legs not working the way they used to. He sat in his bed, trying to read his math textbook while completing some of the worksheets his classmate brought over the day before. He didn't even notice the girl standing by his door as he pushed through the problems.

"Hey!"

Yukimura looked up from his sheets in the direction of the voice. "Hello. Is there something I can help you with?"

The girl casually strolled in and sat down on the chair beside his bed. "You're new to this ward. What's your name?"

"And may I know the name of the one asking?"

The girl giggled. " ."

"Yukimura Seiichi," he answered plainly.

"Seiichi-kun, then? What are you in here for?"

He sighed as he leaned back. "I'm not so sure. The doctors say it's Guillain-Barre Syndrome, but they're not entirely certain."

A small pout began to form on 's face. "That's unfortunate. I hope they find out what it is soon."

Yukimura nodded in agreement. "What about you, -san?"

"Please. is just fine," she corrected. "And it's cancer. They say it's leukemia, but they caught it early, so everything should be fine after a few rounds of chemo."

"I'm sorry to hear that, ."

She gave him a confused look. "Why are you sorry? It's good news that they caught it early. It means I can be cured!"

"I suppose there is no harm in being optimistic."

"You should be optimistic too, Seiichi-kun! They say having a positive outlook can help you recover faster," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Is that so?" He tried to muster a small smile, but found it difficult to contort his facial muscles to do so. "I'm sorry. I just can't find it in me to think positively, . I just have too much on my mind to be positive."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She leaned forward and propped her elbows onto Yukimura's bed. "I got all the time in the world."

"I appreciate it," he thanked. "Where should I even begin?"

"Tell me about yourself! The rest will flow out of you naturally."

He let out a tired sigh. "I'm a third year middle school student at Rikkai. Captain of the Boys' Tennis Team as well."

"Oh! I've heard about your team before. You're the two time national champions, right?"

"Yes, we are. I'm surprised you know about it," he remarked.

"Who doesn't? My school has a tennis team that always complains about you guys. You deserve the praise," she beamed.

He let out a soft chuckle. "Thank you kindly."

"So that's why you must be so upset, Seiichi-kun. You're set to defend the title for a third consecutive year, but now you're trapped here instead," she said bluntly. "But that's not the whole story, is it?"

He shook his head. "It's... Rather complicated, to say the least."

"Care to divulge more?"

Yukimura could see she was very invested in the conversation. "I'd rather not ramble on without giving you a chance to say anything, ."

"I don't have anything to say. Nothing really weighs me down," she said nonchalantly.

"I'm jealous. I wish it were that easy for me to forgo my duties and obligations."

"It's better to have responsibilities, Seiichi-kun. Gives you a reason to fight," she stated.

"A reason to fight? I'm not sure I know what you mean."

She stood up from her seat. "You have to get better. Your teammates are waiting for their beloved captain on the courts to lead them to victory!" She started walking towards the doorway. "I have to get going, but it was nice to meet you, Seiichi-kun!"

He waved at the girl as she disappeared down the hall. A few moments later, another set of nurses came into his room to take more of his blood and check on his vitals. After they were done, Yukimura tried to pick up his pen again to continue doing work, but felt bothered by the earlier conversation. He fell back into his pillow and stared at the bleak ceiling.

"A reason to fight..."

He felt a little more determined than he was before he met this strange girl. For the first time in a while, he smiled.

The next time Yukimura saw the mysterious was on the rooftop as he waited for his teammates to come visit him. He was shocked to see her, especially when he didn't recognize her at first.

", your hair-"

A small blush was forming on her cheeks. She instinctively reached her hands up to touch her head, which was now being covered by an ornate, floral bandana. "It's a side effect from the chemo," she laughed nervously.

"It looks good on you. That bandana," he complimented.

"T-thank you, Seiichi-kun."

He gestured for her to come sit down beside him on the bench he was occupying. "What brings you up here?"

"I was looking for you!" she exclaimed shamelessly. "You were really fun to talk to."

"Really? You flatter me."

"Shall we continue where we left off?" she asked.

He pulled out his cell phone to check for any messages, noting that there was one from his vice captain, Sanada Genichirou. "I have some time to spare. It seems like my teammates are running late."

"Perfect!" She slid close to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Have they made any progress on what's wrong with you?"

He shook his head. "They found some new experimental surgery treatment that could potentially cure me, but I hear the hospital's ethics board is going to drag out the approval process. It'll be a while, but it's the only shot I have."

"Hey! That's great news, Seiichi-kun! You should be more happy about it," she said excitedly.

"I really should be, but I'm not," he admitted. "If the approval drags on, I'll miss the entire Kanto Regionals. I might not even make it back in time for the Nationals either." He felt his eyes well up. "It's frustrating not being able to hold my own racket and play a game. It sucks."

She placed her hand on top of his trembling one. "You really love tennis, don't you?"

He nodded. "I love the feeling of winning. It gives me life."

"Eh? There's more to tennis than winning, Seiichi-kun. What about the game itself?"

"Tennis is enjoyable, but I prefer to win. Makes the game fun for me."

"Boo. You're such a spoilsport," she pouted.

He laughed. "So I've been told." He turned his head slightly to look at the girl resting on his shoulder. "Are you tired or in pain?"

She shook her head. "I'll be fine. It's been a few days since the last treatment. No more side effects until the next round."

"How many more rounds of chemotherapy do you have left, if you don't mind me asking?"

"One more, I hope. They're doing a scan after that one to see if it's still lurking around."

"So, you'll be out of here soon then?"

"Yep! I'll come back and visit you, though," she nodded.

"If I were you, I would run as far away as possible from this place," he replied as he felt himself become nauseous. "The smell of the chemicals here is enough to keep me away forever."

laughed. "You're hilarious, Seiichi-kun!" She stood up from the bench and brushed her skirt off with her hands. "I won't be staying for your meeting with your team, so I'll see you later." She bowed slightly before running off and disappearing down the stairs to the rest of the hospital. Shortly after, Sanada and the rest of the Rikkai Tennis Team showed up, all out of breath from running up the stairs.

"Yukimura! How did you get up here?" Sanada asked in a panic.

"I still have some energy left in me to climb stairs, Sanada," he calmly responded. "Marui, you brought cake again?"

"Of course!" Marui held the paper box up happily. "It's an apple tart, but close enough."

"I look forward to it," Yukimura chuckled.

Yukimura didn't see for quite a while after their last meeting. He figured she had taken his advice and ran away from the place after she received her clean bill of health. Though he was sad to have lost someone familiar to him, there were just as many other people to distract him from the surroundings. He started volunteering to read stories to the children that were also staying there, taking up all the time he had between trying to do his school work, his treatments, medical tests and tennis team meetings. On the very rare occasion he was free, he wandered to the rooftop by himself to take a moment to breathe. What he wasn't expecting was to find the girl he had missed also up there, bawling her eyes out.

Yukimura slowly approached the girl on the bench and sat down quietly. He wrapped his arm around her and rested her head on his shoulder. He gently caressed her in an attempt to comfort her.

was taken aback by the sudden contact, but relaxed when she realized who it was. "S-Seiichi-kun..."

"We can talk when you're ready," he whispered.

The two sat in silence as continued to cry her eyes out. Yukimura could feel his shoulder getting damp from her tears as he continued to hold her. When she calmed down enough to talk, she poked her head up and looked deep into his eyes.

"The scans... I lit up like the Obon Festival..." She let out a long sigh to calm her nerves. "The doctors..."

"They don't seem so hopeful, right? That's why you're up here alone, crying into the shoulders of someone who doesn't even know what's wrong with them?" Yukimura asked with a sad smile. "I jest, but I figured that's what's gotten you all upset."

She nodded slowly. "Sorry. I don't mean to be so emotional and all." She rubbed her eyes to try and get rid of the redness. "Look at me. I'm always telling you to look up and be positive. You must think I'm a fool."

"I don't believe that at all. ," Yukimura answered. "We all have our moments of weakness. It's hard to pretend everything is fine when it isn't."

She nodded as she smiled sadly. "You're right. It's not the end of the world, either. There's more they can do."

"Is that so?" Yukimura leaned back gently and looked up to the sky. "But won't that be a lot of work for you, ?"

"Of course, but what do I have to lose? My life is forfeit if I don't do anything." She looked up to him and poked his cheek. "Seiichi-kun, I might be overstepping my boundaries, but I was wondering if you could humour me in my request."

He looked down at the girl. "That depends. What is it?"

"I might be jumping to conclusions but..." She paused for a second before continuing. "I just don't want to have any regrets."

"Regrets as in..."

Her face began to flush out of embarrassment. "I've never been in a relationship and... You know..."

"Are you asking me out? I'm sure there are way better people to ask who aren't imprisoned in this place called a hospital," he laughed.

"It can only be you, Seiichi-kun. You're the only person I can relate to."

", I'm flattered, but really..."

The girl clung onto him, trembling in fear. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you something in a state like this."

Something deep within Yukimura wanted to protect her. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her thin, bony frame. "It's alright. Please, don't get upset. I'm sorry as well."

"Don't be, Seiichi-kun." She gave him a gentle smile.

Yukimura wasn't sure what came over him, but the next thing he knew, his soft lips were locked onto her dry and chapped ones. There was a faint metallic taste that distracted him from the trance he was in. He immediately jumped back and turned away from the girl as he tried to hide his face from her. sat there, awestruck at what just happened.

"S-Seiichi-kun!"

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me."

The two sat in awkward silence as their faces turned redder by the minute. After what seemed like an eternity, broke the silence with a cough.

"Do it again," she demanded. "I want to remember my first kiss as something more than just an accident."

"..."

The girl gently placed her hands on his shoulders and inched herself closer to his face. She hesitated continuing with what she was doing when their lips brushed briefly. It was Yukimura who decided to continue by closing the gap between them. This time, the kiss was more soft and sweet. He could feel a warm, fuzzy feeling deep within him when his lips were touching her's; something he was surprised to feel since his condition rendered him numb and incapable of feeling much at all. Yukimura wished that feeling would last forever, as it made him feel human again.

As the days leading towards the Nationals slowly crept in, Yukimura felt time come to a standstill as he watched himself wither away. He desperately wanted to get better, but his body refused to cooperate. The treatments were failing him slowly and he was slowly losing himself to the grips of his disease. It frustrated him every time someone visited him and took pity on his sorry state. He was tired of waiting for the day that the experimental surgery would be approved or rejected. He just wanted to be normal again.

He saw less and less, as she was undergoing more intense radiation and chemotherapy to treat her recurrence. It was an isolating time for him and he chose to shut himself away from the outside world. No one could comfort him and understand him as much as could. She was the only person who knew what it was like to be stabbed constantly by needles and pumped full of strange medicines to try and cure whatever sickness they had. She was the only person who knew how much of a prison the hospital really was. She was the only person who made him feel something after losing his own sense of touch. To him, she was the only thing that kept him alive at that point. When she did come to see him again, Yukimura's blood ran cold upon seeing a shell of 's former self standing before him.

The girl smiled weakly at him as she dragged her flesh-covered skeleton into his room with an IV drip in tow. She carefully sat herself down on the chair beside his bed. "You look like you've just seen a ghost, Seiichi-kun."

Yukimura's mouth hung agape, unable to find the right words for the situation.

"I do admit, I look different from before," she said in a rather quiet and raspy voice. "I'm on the fourth of seven chemotherapy treatments right now. It's getting harder to move around, but I couldn't stand not seeing you any longer."

", you should rest in your room. I could have gotten the nurses to take me to see you instead," Yukimura scolded. "You look awful."

She shook her head. "I wanted to leave my room. It was getting unbearable there."

"That makes the two of us, then," he responded as he gave her his own tired and weary smile of comfort. "Are you sure you should be moving around like this? I don't want you to be set back in your recovery because of me, ."

"I said I was fine!" she snapped. Upon realizing what she had done, she covered her mouth with her hand and looked straight at the ground. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to get angry at you like that."

"..." Yukimura wanted to reach out to her and hold her tightly, but he could barely shift his body towards the side of the bed to sit and face her.

stood up and crawled into Yukimura's bed to curl up beside him. "Hold me," she asked him. "Hold me and don't let me go, Seiichi-kun."

Yukimura slowly shifted himself over and lied back down in his bed. He used what little strength he had left to put his arms around the girl, making sure not to get their tubes tangled up in the process. He buried his face into the bandana she wore on her head, noting that it smelled faintly like her and not like the disgusting cleaning chemicals he was used to.

"Seiichi-kun..."

"My apologies. This is the best I can do in my state."

"That's alright. I feel better knowing that I'm safe in your arms."

Yukimura let out a yawn. "I wish this moment could last forever, ."

He felt himself being slowly lulled to sleep by the comforting feeling of cradling the girl as they pretended that everything was normal for that brief moment. Upon waking up from his slumber, the girl that was in his arms had disappeared. He figured she had been taken back to her own room when he was sleeping. A part of his heart ached as he continued to think about her.

It was the long-awaited day for Yukimura to receive his experimental surgery. The doctors had warned him that his chances of survival were as high as betting on what side of a coin was facing up, but he had already made up his mind. This was his only chance to live his life again. He had to take the risk and die without regrets than to forgo a treatment that could possibly save him.

Yukimura lied in wait for the surgical team to arrive and wheel him into the operating room. Beside him was , who looked like she could barely keep herself awake as she kept him company until then. She stood beside his bed, using the guardrail and her IV stand to hold herself up.

He reached out to get a hold of her bony hands. "You'll be waiting for me after this is done, right?"

She smiled at him as she grabbed onto his soft, elegant hand. "Of course. I'll be there as soon as you're out and I'll stay with you until you open your eyes."

", I know I shouldn't be saying this but, I'm really glad I got to meet you," Yukimura confessed.

She nodded. "Me too, Seiichi-kun."

He pulled on her wrist to get her to lower down. When she was at a height he could reach, he kissed her gently on the cheek, causing her to blush.

"S-Seiichi..."

"I love you, ." He looked at her with eyes that made her chest tighten. "I promise when I make it out, I'll come and take care of you instead."

"Promise me you'll make it out of this. For the both of us," she pleaded.

He nodded at her. "Of course. It's a promise," he reaffirmed with determination.

Just as their conversation was finishing, the surgical team had arrived to do their preoperative preparations. slowly moved back, allowing the doctors to do their work. From what Yukimura could see, was invisible to the people around them and he wondered why no one was talking with her. She could only smile sadly as the surgical team began to surround his bed, pushing her away from him. Yukimura watched as the team whisked him away in the blink of an eye. Before he could even take his next breath, he was under a blinding white spotlight that illuminated his entire body. His system was slowly filled with the drugs that would knock him out of consciousness and keep the pain he would feel to a minimum.

A few moments later, he was lost in a short, blissful dream with where a bright future with the optimistic girl unfolded before him. He watched as they grew closer to each other, marry and grow old. Yukimura had fallen in love with the girl that he shared the longest months of his life with and was determined to make this drug-induced dream come true. The last thing he saw was the girl passing away in his arms before he slowly regained consciousness in the real world. Staring down at him were Sanada and Yanagi; both of which were out of breath as they let out a sigh of relief.

"Yukimura!"

"Good morning to you too, Sanada," the blue-haired boy grumbled as he squinted his eyes to shield them from the bright lights. "I am alive, right?"

"Yes, you are," Yanagi confirmed. "Seiichi, about the Regionals..."

Yukimura looked at his two best friends with a scrutinizing eye. "Judging by your disheveled expressions, the smell of sweat and the fact that all of you are out of breath, it didn't go so well?"

"Forgive me, Yukimura," Sanada began. "It was my fault."

"Genichirou, it was also my fault as well," Yanagi added.

"We can discuss it later, you two." Yukimura tried to force himself to sit up, but felt the stitches in his abdomen begin to tug at his skin painfully.

Yanagi pushed a button on the bed to tilt the inebriated boy into an upright position. "Please be careful, Seiichi. Do you need more pain medication?"

Yukimura shook his head. "I'm alright, Renji." He looked around the room he was in. There was no one else there except Yanagi and Sanada. "Where is she?"

Sanada and Yanagi looked at each other with a confused look before staring back at their bedridden friend. "Yukimura, who are you referring to?" Sanada asked.

". Where is she?"

"? It's only us here, Seiichi," Yanagi stated.

"She was with me before I went in. She said she'd be waiting for me when I woke up," Yukimura said worriedly. "Was there not a girl in here when you arrived?"

Yanagi gave him a sympathetic look.

"There was no one else here when we arrived, Yukimura," Sanada answered. He had a guilty look on his tired face.

"Renji, why are you giving me that look?" he snapped. "Say something, you two. What's really going on?"

Yanagi reached for his friend's hand and squeezed it tightly. "The doctors... They found tumours in your brain, pressing on your occipital and temporal lobes, during the procedure. Thankfully, they're benign, but they believe that's what was causing your hallucinations."

"Hallucinations?" Yukimura was thoroughly confused. " is real. I'm sure of it! I saw her with my own eyes! I held her in my arms! I even kissed her! You can't tell me that she's not real. How was I able to do all of that with someone who wasn't real?"

Yanagi and Sanada looked at each other with a very guilty expression. They were both afraid to look at Yukimura or say anything further.

"You're lying. She has to be real!" Yukimura felt his stomach churn. "Don't tell me she wasn't real..." His chest tightened as he tried to fight back his tears.

At that moment, he realized that the dream he had under the effects of anesthesia was a sign that this was coming. It was a fantasy he desperately wanted to be true and he watched it fade away before him. His already weary heart couldn't take the pain any longer and he began to lash out, tearing the IVs out of his arms and yelling at the top of his lungs. The stitches holding his skin together slowly began to split, causing his bedsheets to stain red with his blood. All he could remember was falling back down into the darkness as a team of medical staff rushed in to try and restrain him.

It took a number of weeks before he could accept the fact that he was never going to see again. He still wasn't sure what he saw was a hallucination like everyone was saying or if there was something else amidst. Regardless, he pretended that she never existed just to get himself out of the supervision of the psychiatry team. He pushed himself every day during physical therapy to regain his mobility. He made a promise to her to get out of the prison he was confined in and had to fulfill it. Time flew by and he soon found himself being able to hold his racket and move around the court again. Though his skills needed serious refinement, he finally felt genuine happiness being able to play a sport he loved.

Around the same time, his large medical team had finally given him the approval to be discharged. Yukimura soon returned to the tennis team and resumed his position of being its captain, training hard alongside his teammates to overcome the defeat at the Kanto Regionals. The memories of the sick girl named slowly began to disappear from his mind as he worked the club back into shape. He had almost forgotten about her and how she had saved him when he was at his lowest. His heart would ache day and night, but he struggled to understand why he was experiencing the pain, not realizing that the source of his pain was due to him forgetting about her.

One random afternoon during their lunch period, Yanagi and Yukimura were visiting Niou and Marui's classroom. Upon arriving, Yukimura noted that one of the desks had a vase filled with fresh-cut zinnias.

He pointed at the desk. "Niou, Marui, who sat at that desk over there?"

Niou turned in the direction Yukimura was pointing. "I don't remember. That person was never here for long," he said as he scratched his head.

Marui nodded. "If I remember correctly, they were only here for less than a month before getting hospitalized," he whispered quietly. "It was cancer. They passed less than a month before you fell ill, actually."

" was the person's family name," Yanagi stated.

"Yeah! , if I remember correctly," Niou added.

"?" Yukimura felt his heart sink down to his feet. He set his lunch down on Niou's desk and stumbled over to the desk, as if in a trance.

"Seiichi!" Yanagi exclaimed.

Some of the other students in the room watched as Yukimura fell to his knees beside the empty desk, trembling. "You were real, ... All this time..."

Niou and Marui looked at each other with a confused expression as Yanagi ran up to their captain, who was now sobbing uncontrollably.

"Renji, you thought I was crazy... She was real all this time..." He buried his face into his hands. "Why must God be so unfair..?"

Yanagi dropped down to comfort his friend. "Seiichi-"

"I'll never forget you," he whispered to himself as he slowly stood back up and wiped away the last of his tears. He turned back to Niou and Marui with his typical smiling demeanor, which sent a chill down their spines.

"Y-Yukimura, are y-you alright?" Marui stuttered as the azure-haired boy approached them once again.

"Of course I am," Yukimura reaffirmed. "Sorry about that, everyone."

Niou, Marui and Yanagi all exchanged concerned looks with each other before continuing with the conversation they were having prior to their captain's outburst. Though they wanted to ask what had happened, they also didn't want to pry any further. Yukimura continued to smile fondly as he finally understood what had happened to him. Whether or not he was haunted by the ghost of remained a mystery, but he could finally put that chapter of his life aside as he looked towards a brighter future.